Apparently now I'm going to the movies with one of my good friends. It looks like a date, but I'm not sure. And whatever, I'm not going to get stuck on this. My friend is going off to college this Sunday anyway. I'll think of it more as a fare-well bash anything else. It's only fair. Friendship deserves it anyway, right?

So I won't stress about it and let it come as it is. It is for what I'll make out of it. )

@настроение: Smile, cause smiling is still free.


I don't understand why I bother anymore. I mean, it's just like those alien movies. Resistance is futile. I can't find the silver line in this gray gray cloud. Maybe I'm just moody, but hell it feels like the whole world is against me. What happened to those wonderful emotions like courage, self assurance, confidence, self-awareness? Where did they go? It's like one moment I'm on top of the world, and then bam you're no longer a child and you're battling against half of known population. Life has a sucky quality right now.

I mean, my friends are horrible people. They are essentially wolves in sheep's skins. They hide behind false concerns and point fingers at me. I am the true evil. Oh give me a break!If ever I was evil, they were the seed that sprouted all the evils in the world. I mean, when was the last time they stood up for me? Um, never, while I always have to act as a human shield. They don't value me. They don't understand me and don't even try. Sometimes I get a feeling that I am the friend that no one likes and the only reason why they keep me around is to use me. Well, yeah.. thanks for teaching me about economics, but that's not the way real human beings have to interact.

And then... I wish I wasn't such a failure Christ almighty, why the hell wo I have to be the one with these freaking feelings? I want them OUT!

@настроение: New Name


This new design for this website is retarded. Whoever came up with it, had hands growing out of his ass.


“Oh the police!” replied Wolf is little falsetto, his voice going girlishly high with indignation. Yes, it was hard to imagine Wolf, the epitome of all things manly, trying to imitate woman’s voice. But Christ, he was good at it. As soon as he heard the police bolt, Wolf opened the door, grinning from ear to ear. “Bloody good, kitten. You surpass my expectations by a mile,” he spoke cheerily, coming out of the bathroom completely, towel firmly tied around his waist. He was having fun.

@настроение: Jack9 kiss my Ass.


I realized that there is something in this world that I don't like more than... republicans, and that something is renovations. After watching too much HGTV, my parents suddenly had the urge to repaint and redo all the upstairs room. It's hell. Pure hell. Not only does the house stink of polish, but I'm stuck in the livingroom with my parents 24/7. There is no escape. they won't leave for anything. Bloody.. blood hell. If I live through this, I would be able to survive a war and a plague hands down. I hate this so fucking much.

Oh and Miki still doesn't know my real danger. I'm toying with her.. perhaps I should stop. But again, I don't feel bad about it anymore. I mean, yeah, it's kind of lieing, but I never asserted my gender. So in the end, I don't feel like a liar and a son of a bitch. I feel like I usually do. Perfectly human.

@настроение: Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan.


So yesterday I went peach picking with my family. It was fun, except for the fact that I got a sun stroke and was puking for my life when we got home. The hotdog didn't help much. It's always been with me like that. I don't get it. I can't have fun with my family unless I get hurt. My ankle is in pain too, but who cares about that? Anyway, now we're stocked with peaches to last us months. Which is good, I suppose, since my parents and sister do like them, but I'm more or less lukewarm in my love for peaches. Apricots stole my heart. Yeah...

But still, I am pretty aggravated.... about people who always stick to plans. I mean, I do it sometimes when my friends are being jackasses and wouldn't invite me, but not ALL the time. Christ, A just won't stop. I planned with Al to go to movies on Monday, maybe invite Shippo and Sar. But no, all of a sudden A jumps in and becomes making plans with us. Grrr. I was the captain of that fucking boat. Where the hell did A come from? Anyway, that's probably what I get for mentioning movies on DA. It never works out in the end.

@настроение: Death by anal seepage?


It's not possible to compete with that. Do people like that even exist?

@настроение: And he had a choice to live or die.


Kay, here we go. I'm gonna try to write something super-duper ultra meaningful for all those people who read the garbage that I write. Are you ready for it? Get out your dictionaries and start translating cause here... it.. comes...


Yes, this has been on my mind for sometime. I'm homesick. I'm so fucking homesick that I sat down and wrote a letter.... in RUSSIAN. I know, you're thinking "Holy fuck! What? This person can write in RUSSIAN? I'm shocked and appalled that this person writes in English. Russian is so much better." Well yeah, I guess you got your little point, but I have to disagree with y'all on this one. Yes, Russian language is beautiful, granted you use it right. It's overly difficult, like Japanese and possibly no one speaks it right. yes, even the people living in Moscow may not have the proper pronunciations. Anyway, the language is great.. the country not so much. I mean, really, you can't expect OUR people to think of the better good. Why should they? This wonderful, kind hearted capitalism promises to feed us and make us happy. So what if some old person starves or the production lines stopped. As long as I get my PLAZMA TV I'm in heaven.

No, that's not how things are supposed to work. If you destroy, you have to build. USSR is no more, but what's left instead of it? A corrupted hell-hole? What is my generation growing up to be when you BUY your grades? I don't get it. We are smart people and once ( a long time ago) we were hard working too. What happened to all of that wonderful labor? Why are we falling for the quick fixes, quick ways to get rich, and quick lives? Where is there such wide spread epidemic of crimes and.. gosh... I don't know how to even say this.. NAZISM?

Listen, if you want to prove that your country is the best, do it. Don't just sit around on your fat ass and yell about it. You have to get up and do it... like they do it on Discovery channel. Anyway, I'm proud of my heritage. I love my people.. but Christ, you're fucking up the best thing that could have happened. Share! You hear? Share fortune with the unfortunate and only then are you truly going to be a great nation.

@настроение: Rowling, I'm coming for you. How dare you kill Snape? This is war.


Wolf lowered the knife into the basin of warm water. It would make the shock of the cut less dramatic. Yet the man was reluctant to go on. He didn’t want to ask Alistair to hold him down and keep him gagged. Screaming for his life could draw unnecessary attention. But he had to. “You have to keep me down and quiet, while I do this,” Wolf whispered, taking hold of the knife. So much for a vacation.

@настроение: Valid by Propositional Logic.


I'm a beast, hungry for affection and excitement. I dream of wondrous things, of apocalypses which only I can prevent. My hands that know so little of tenderness pick up lost souls and press them agaisnt my chest in sign of love. But do I love? Really, perhaps all that I really enjoy is my own feeling of intoxication at the very thought of that wondrous someone. And in my dreams, I hold that someone's hand and we run to save our lives while the world around us collapses. That is my dream and I am hungry for it. I'm not afraid to be alone, but simply fear that all this menacing emotion would hollow me out. No one understands the passions that move behind my eyes. Yes, my face is apathetic, I have learned to put on a mask. But alas, those eys of my forever will give out the thinker and dreamer within me.

So where are you? Where are you that shadowed someone who I mean to safe when the world is about to end? I wish the face would be revealed and I will no longer quack in fear of being consumed by my own self. Oh well... I'm starting on a picture, hopefully it would break my bad luck with pencil.

@настроение: It's storming again.


Anime Convention 2008


I am sad. Very sad, actually. There is a dull pain in my chance and no matter how much a claw at it, it won't go away. And if I could cry. Shit I'm crying right now. It's all so confusing and unfair. Why would people do such monstrous things.. to themselves? Why would Ben smoke pot? Why? It makes no sense to me. None what so ever. Here I look at my own body, how youth radiates off of curves of my flash and I wonder why Wi would ever want to hurt it. It and I are supposed to have a happy life, so then why would ben want to trade this youth for the sake of moments of pleasure? I don't get it and it makes me sad. I feel like I let a freind down and I severed the lines. I can't talk to him. I won't talk to him. There is error in his way, as far as I see it.. but then, I'm not a saint myself

Oh I promised myself I would never do this again, but I am. I am lieing about my gender again, cover my tracks with more incredible lies. It's all so painful. I don't want to deceive honest good people. I don't want to turn into a monster, and yet, here I am hiding my true face behind a mask of someone else. Forgive me, Miki and Jade and James. Forgive me for being so corrupt and evil. I would have felt no remorse had I not seen the pain that could be in your hearts if I told you the truth. It's not fun anymore, not when fucking Angel with Gabi showed me what it was like to be on the receiving end of that stick. It's no fun to be the beaten, to the be the angry and the caught. I'm sorry that I can't be different, but I wish I could be. I wish I could stop Ben from smoking pot, Olya from drinking, Leslie from attempting suicide, and to ease April's pain. I wish I could be their superhero, but instead I am the villain. I wallow in my own self pity and wither away into sarcophagus of indifference. I'm sorry Miki. I really am.... but will I ever have the courage to tell you the truth?

And for that I am sad.

@музыка: The Who: Behind Blue Eyes


Today was my mommies birthday. I'm glad she was born because sometimes she is the best person on the face of planet earth.

But here, I'd like to post a conversation so that I would remember it for the future.

Jade Landis: Mr.Bob...? =o.
No Name: Yes?
Jade Landis: Hi. =3.
Jade Landis: Michaela's being strange. >--->. She's telling me not to talk to you...
No Name: cause i think she was trying to hook us up or something )
No Name: or I could be wrong and sounding like a complete idiot
Jade Landis: XDD. Well, she seems really shocked... She keeps saying how surprised she is about something... x---x. Said it had to do with you, and that she didn't want me talking to you. x---x. Correction, "bothering you".
No Name: right, because she found out I'm not all the way a rainbow )
Jade Landis: =o. That's what she's so shocked about...? =\.
No Name: yup
Jade Landis: Well, that's kind of dumb, then. X---x. She was making this big deal about something, to me.
No Name: Right. It's funny now though
No Name: 'cause she doesn't believe me )
Jade Landis: XDDD. I think you'd know...
No Name: Well...
No Name: it's hard to convince someone who's not in your head
Jade Landis: Yeah, I know what you mean. =\. Now she won't shut up about it, though. x---x.
No Name: I know. She's trying to convince me to be gay
Jade Landis: Whyyyyy? xD.
No Name: That I don't know
No Name: but it's getting to be pretty entertaining
Jade Landis: XDDD. She able to give you any reasons?
No Name: says: gay guys are cool
Jade Landis: xDDD. Wtf? That... doesn't even have logic behind it...
No Name: Right
No Name: But she's getting all upset now.
No Name: poor thing
Jade Landis: Aw. D=. But it's over nothing..
No Name: Alas, there's nothing that we can do
No Name: it's all hormones
Jade Landis: Everything is hormones now-a-days, huh?
No Name: Yup. It's the safest explanation
No Name: so, are you still allowed to talk to me?
Jade Landis: Even if she told me not to, I would anyway. xD. I never listen to her..
Jade Landis: I shouldn't, anyway.
Jade Landis: With how much she calls me flamboyant and an asshole.
No Name: you're not flamboyant
No Name: I didn't even get the fact that you were gay until she told me that
Jade Landis: Ehhh... You haven't seen much of me... xD. I can get pretty... nghh.. Yeah. That's 'cause I've been well-behaved. xD. I'm very... touchy feely.
No Name: it's in style.
No Name: no guy can afford to be without feelings )
Jade Landis: No... I mean... =x... not feelings... xD.... but.. FEELING. With the hands...
Jade Landis: I'm perverted, on the inside, sadly.
No Name: hmmm... i can relate to that )
No Name: msot of my friends are pretty much porn addicts
Jade Landis: I think my laptop crashed 'cause of the bondage porn. xD. Sooo... I have yet to get it fixed.
No Name: that is the best )
No Name: though i'm more of a reader than anything
No Name: it's safer when parents come in crashing through the door with handguns
Jade Landis: Mmm, same. Especially with a little sister running around, I have to be more careful about it. Though she's seen my art, and it's not exactly clean version. =\.
No Name: ever since my mom caught me, i stopped doing art in that sense
No Name: but anyway, adult fan fiction has like the best easily accesible porn on the net
Jade Landis: I keep my sketch books hidden. =3. Do you like to draw, then?
Jade Landis: Ah, yes, I know.
Jade Landis: You know what's hard to find...?
Jade Landis: Gay bondage, specifically with asians.
Jade Landis: But I find bondage in text hard to find altogether.
No Name: there's a lot of straight bondage. it's like everywhere
Jade Landis: Michaela would probably get mad if she knew this is what we were talking about.... She thinks I corrupt her friends. Your art? -points to display picture-
No Name: No
No Name: A friend I knew from online diaries
No Name: the eyes before that were part of my art
Jade Landis: -nodnod- Well, that person is good, then.
No Name: Yeah, but I can't find him again
No Name: he fucking vanished into the thin air
No Name: damn russians..
Jade Landis: Psh. XD. Everyone I know is here in America, off to the west... except for one girl who's over in England.
Jade Landis: Ha-ha... nuthuggers, right.
Jade Landis: XD.
No Name: sorry
No Name: but I can't help but call them that
Jade Landis: I call them that as well.
No Name: yeah, like two years ago I knew a hell lot of people in europe
No Name: used to talk to this guy from UK and then a lot from Russia
Jade Landis: Like, everyone I know now is off in Arizona, California, Nevada... that kind of thing. WHile I'm stuck here in Florida..

No Name: are you doing early decision for any of your college choices?
No Name: it's such a drag.
Jade Landis: Nah. My parents are going to help me deal with it when I'm in my senior year... But, it'll probably be USF for me...
No Name: I want to leave my state
Jade Landis: I'd say whenever you get the chance, move down here. You'd be alot happier by the sounds of it..
No Name: right, probably
No Name: maybe I'd finally get the tan I've been dreaming about since last year
No Name: anyway, so about art..
Jade Landis: What kind do you like to do?
No Name: mostly fantasy
No Name: i'm big on dragons, werewolves and angels
No Name: and you?
Jade Landis: I'm big on demons and angels, and quite a bit of macabre... Blood fascinates me, so... I tend to incorperate violence into my drawings alot. But, I was stupid enough to the point where I used to do anime... but, that quickly stopped....
No Name: I do some anime... like realistic style
No Name: I love portraits though.. not very good at it, but I do it anyway
Jade Landis: Yeah. I know what you mean about the anime.
Jade Landis: I do portraits alot...
Jade Landis: I actually like to draw male faces, but that have that prettiness about them, rather than handsome, because I think the beauty sort of feels unnatural. =3.
Jade Landis: But I like drawing the female form, more, because I find it more elegant.
No Name: I know what you mean
No Name: though sometimes I just combine the features and make the male figures look more feminine
No Name: you know, add more curve to the hips and the make the proportion between shoulders and the hips less drastic
Jade Landis: Yes, I do that too. =3. I can't draw animals for crap, though.
No Name: i'm totally guilty for being in love with unicorns
No Name: i still draw horses.. every once in a while
Jade Landis: XDDD. Unicorns are awesome. And no matter what anyone says, it doesn't make you gay if you like unicorns. -sigh- Stupid people who think that. XD. I like angels and demons and elfs and faeries. 83.
Jade Landis: *elves
Jade Landis: Blah.
Jade Landis: Bad grammar, there.
No Name: Thanks. I usually keep the unicorn tid-bit as a horrible secret burried six feet deep
Jade Landis: XD. Well, it's not like I'm going to make fun of you or anything.
Jade Landis: I usually keep my liking for asians down low, to avoid being called a rice queen.
No Name: never heard of that before
No Name: guess one learns something new everyday
No Name: besides, some asians are just too adorable
Jade Landis: Ah, I know. xDD. I think it's because alot of their men look feminine, and I like that.
No Name: Damn straight. They have more sloping jaw line
Jade Landis: Exactly. And their skin... I like their skin alot. =3.
No Name: yup, it has a nice full color to it.. though there are some white asias
No Name: *asians
No Name: anyway..
Jade Landis: Yeah, but I'm pale, so... XD. I can't really complain about fair skin.
Jade Landis: Why do you like tan skin? =o.
No Name: cause I'm getting farmer's tan from tennis and I'd love to even it out
Jade Landis: I purposely try to stay pale.
No Name: i used to, but then my parents thought i might be on drugs )
Jade Landis: XDD. My grandmother checks my drawers for cocaine.
No Name: well.. i drink sometimes
No Name: but that's only in foreign contries
Jade Landis: I drink sometimes, and that's not in foreign countries. But it's in the privacy of my home.
No Name: nah, it's no fun at home
No Name: back in ukraine, we party all the way )
Jade Landis: Well, I wouldn't do it outside the house. xD. I'm too... well-kept. Parents are police...
No Name: right.. i forgot
No Name: you're the lucky son of a bitch that has cop parents )
Jade Landis: XDDDD.
No Name: besides, same here. when i told my parents i was drinking, they were horrified
Jade Landis: Hmm... It's not as you think it. xDD. Well, drinking is not nearly as bad as drugs...
No Name: yup. you can stop at any time and there are no serious side effects
No Name: except for the hang over and that's not ever fun
Jade Landis: -shakes head- My mom gets drunk off wine so easily, and I have no idea how. Wine does nothing to me.
No Name: i'm not much of a wine person, don't like the taste
Jade Landis: -shrug- I like sweeter wines... pink ones, and things like that... dessert wines...
No Name: I guess I'm more of a beer, coctail person
No Name: espeically drinks mixed with lime
No Name: anyway... enough about bad habits )
Jade Landis: Ah, haha. Michaela doesn't like it when I'm perverted. xD.
No Name: why?
No Name: you get the best conversations that way
Jade Landis: Well, she called our friend Spiky a love machine, and I said to him, "Hey Spiky... If you're a love machine does that mean I can... turn you on?" XDD. And it upset Michaela, I think. Ha-ha. That wasn't even bad compared to what I was doing to him earlier. XD.
No Name: that's not perverted
Jade Landis: Not really.
No Name: seriously, that's just cute
Jade Landis: XDDD. Wow. You're probably the first one to say that was cute.
No Name: dude, my friends come up with this shit everyday
Jade Landis: My don't. They're so uptight. -le sigh-
No Name: i remember it was someone's birthday and we had a fruit platter on the table and someone said, " Hey, your mom has great mellons."
Jade Landis: XDDDDD. I would've laughed so hard.
No Name: yeah.. i chocked on that mellon right there
No Name: by the way, why would you have up tight friends?
Jade Landis: Well, I live in this rather... "be perfect" community, and everyone is really anal about everything, and like. "-gasp- He said ass!" Sort of thing. -sigh- I hate it.
No Name: heh.. i bet i'd get my mouth washed with soup more than once then
No Name: quick question, is there such a thing as being too asian?
Jade Landis: I know I've felt like that. xDDD. Scoolddddiinnggg.... And for saying things you can hear on TV so easily...

Jade Landis: Hmm...
Jade Landis: Maybe...
Jade Landis: XD.
Jade Landis: Not on looks...
Jade Landis: But maybe being WAY too into the culture...
No Name: No, like jewelry wise )
No Name: sorry, about all these, I'm trying to convince another person that there is no such thing as being too asian to pull of a natural look )
Jade Landis: Psh... no, there is no such thing. x---x.
No Name: huzzah, so I was right after all -diabolical laughter-
Jade Landis: XDDD. You seem to be right quite a bit. =^-^=.
No Name: um...
No Name: back of cereal boxes?
Jade Landis: XDD. I don't cereal, sooooo.. XDD. I wouldn't know.
Jade Landis: -lives off bagels and tea-
Jade Landis: I wish I was right... x---x. At least once. xD.
No Name: that's easy
No Name: what's 2+2?
Jade Landis: 4. XD.
No Name: There you go.
Jade Landis: Ah, yeah, that's cute. XDDD.
Jade Landis: Makes me wanna hug you. xDDDD.
No Name: Um...
No Name: I'm not much of a hug person unless I'm at an emotional breakdown
Jade Landis: Most people are that way. ^^;;. So I'm used to it.
No Name: Yeah. It's really the age of the impersonal communication.
Jade Landis: -shrug- Like I said. I'm very touchy-feely, so I touching people and stuff. xD.
No Name: Hm, well, I guess that's good in a sense.
No Name: we need a human touch.. even to messaging
Jade Landis: *I like
Jade Landis: Bah... bad typing skills for me. ><. Yeahh... I just am real friendly. xD. Michaela's use to it.
No Name: Can't say Miki isn't real friendly either
No Name: I get imaginary hugs like every five minutes
Jade Landis: Yeah, she's very... touchy, as well.
Jade Landis: She's also demanding.
No Name: yup, she did make me her whore
No Name: though i was already taken by other people
Jade Landis: xDDD. Yeeahhh. I know how that feels. She's also my "wife".
No Name: Sorry about that. I usually wed people for the hell of it when they're argueing
Jade Landis: XD. Nice. When people are arguing... psshhh... I just stay out of it. xD.
No Name: I can't. I just love argueing too much
No Name: especially with catholics
No Name: they're fun to tease when you're a satanist )
Jade Landis: I don't really have a religion, but I agree with alot of things in the satanic bible. xD. I like arguing with jehovah witnesses...
No Name: can you explain to me what the hell that is?
Jade Landis: Well, my grandmother is that. xDD. For one, they believe that only a certain number of people will get into heaven...
Jade Landis: Second, they don't believe Jesus died on the cross...
Jade Landis: And they don't celebrate holidays.
Jade Landis: Which is why it's fun to talk about halloween in front of them.
No Name: i love halloween..
No Name: i just like dressing up in random costumes..
Jade Landis: I plan to be a mime this year. XDD. Just for the hell of it, since I have abunch of friends doing it. We were going to run around the neighborhood, scaring the crap out of people.
Jade Landis: Since we're too old for trick or treating sort of deal.
No Name: you're never too old for free candy
No Name: but I still don't know what I want to be for halloween
No Name: maybe i;ll go as gothic lollita.. but I don't school is gonna like that
Jade Landis: Ha-ha. xDD. You should anyway.
Jade Landis: I remember the year in middle school I dressed up like a girl for the first time, on halloween. xD. The next day, I wore another skirt, and people thought I was just trying to be funny.
No Name: as long as it wasn't skimpy
No Name: cause god knows those things are way too breathy for comfort
Jade Landis: No, I don't do skimpy... xD.
No Name: that makes one of us..
No Name: kidding, I do cross dressing only for anime conventions
No Name: and halloween.


Despite the fact that yes, today is Friday the 13th and I couldn't get a decent role-play to save my life, this had been a pretty good day. My hands smell of blackberries and grass and there is a prospect of playing tennis, lurking somewhere in the future. I slept in, did my work, and now....well, now I feel down-right ok. I'm not sad or angry or overly happy. There are moments of the past floating through the air, reminding me that time is never motionless. Oh well, someday, I'll be able to catch up to it or it will slow down for me.
People actually looked at the 7th chapter of Drake Inheritance. That makes me feel better. I've been also majorly pigging out on Sailor Moon. I started on episode one and after three days, am on episode 15. Of course, I have like 300 and 2 movies to go before finishing the series, but damn, it's so addicting. I know what I want to be for next years Anime Convention, but I'm not telling until I'm sure of it.
Anyway, happy Friday 13th to one and to all.

@настроение: Flash Flash Revoluion = DDR for Fingers


The Filtration
Mr. Rufus Aldro was a man of many faces. He was a man of much wealth and power. He was a man of great respect and wide publicity. He was a man worth of praise for he was a man of hard working habits and ideals. But the true subtleties of the man, the true wheels of his mind were hidden away by the handsome mask of his face. What ruled him was uncertainty to the world and one could doubt every moment the sincerity of that man. But, Mr. Aldro was a man of strong convictions and a subtle mind condoned to judge. Even as a child, playing in the yard of his family’s house, magnifying glass in hand, the peculiar nature of his inner machine never ceased to stir the world. He was fascinated by the notion of judgment, by its intricate web-work of lost hopes and lives, and as he tested its theory, burning away at the ants who strayed from the order, the questions of right and wrong engulfed him ever more. He watched with fascination the inevitability of punishment, the squirming legs of the suffering ants. And he found it rather strange, that life did not follow the conventional rules and didn’t reversed itself. He argued, as a child, that if man came from nothing, from the womb of the woman, then when they die, must they not live on? Must not the life continue for the creature that already seized it and held it in its hands? Would God, of whose kindness the church spoke, take away what is rightfully his children’s? Mr. Rufus Aldro did not know, but thought it a curious matter and much of his time as a growing child he spent in these deep musings. He reflected upon the role of God and his judgment of the people, his perception of the good and evil, and of course about irreversibility of death. He pondered upon the silliness of man and beast, of the society into which he was growing. He tested the boundaries of the convention with his theories, while the perfect mask of his handsome face hid the subtleties of his convicting mind.
But alas, even he could not turn the questions. He could not heave their weight without the aid of a book, a holy book. And so as a young prominent man from a well-known family, Mr. Rufus Aldro became a crier for the Holy Book, protector of its holy word and its holy teachings. He grew into the sense that one’s life was not fulfilled if one did not follow the syllables spoken by wise men. One cannot truly be alive if one went against the laws of God, but his convicting mind could not help but find faults in the text. Why shouldn’t the evil be punished? Why must it wait for God to judge? Some humble men were better suited for they were tested by the same seducing power of the devil and could truly punish the straying ants.
Oh the richness of his musings! Oh how the people listened and how they praised his wisdom! Oh how he turned their heads and made their hands rise to the lord to praise him for sending this saint to save them from the evils of men. Oh praise him! Praise him for he is near holy!
And the Turkish people praised the man, most influential in their country, the puppet master. They freely surrendered their strings for his hands to wield as he chose and he chose to clean the world of mortal evils.
For fifteen years, he was the grandest puppet master Turkey ever knew. His fingers skillfully turned truth into eternal truth and lies into limbo of subconscious. He was trusted. He was loved. He was neared to God. And yet. And yet it was not enough for the ambitious convicting spirit that beat within him. As years passed, and they passed quickly in whirlwind of fame and fortune, Mr. Rufus Aldro lost faith. Not to say that he no longer believed in God, but that he resolved to believe in himself, in his own abilities to shape the clay of others’ minds. Now then, his calm green eyes turned to look at the world around and with god-like conviction see the impurity of souls.
Lo then, beware the purges that followed, for they came in secret of the dark night. Hide the children, for even they were not safe from the grabby paws of the saint. Cry mothers and wives, cry fathers and husbands, for your beloved are sure to be doomed when they are not pure of heart.
In this great turmoil of the country, a foreign shadow of honorable Mr. Drake came on the scene. He was no more than enigmatic presence, somewhere beside Mr. Rufus Aldro and yet never materializing in full. He didn’t speak and didn’t act but simply stood there, biding his time for when to reap profits from the confusion of the masses. In his mute silent ways, he discovered the true nature of the purges and in this revelation, shackled its initiator with binds of secrecy.
“I won’t tell anyone that you are a cannibal, Mr. Aldro,” said once Mr. Drake, sitting in a chair with the fingertips bound together and a smile hiding behind them. “If only you will do a favor for me. Only one.” At a weak hearted inquiry of the nature of this very favor, Mr. Drake said nothing but only smiled in that well-mannered impersonal way of his. And Mr. Aldro knew that he was dealing with the devil. But what could he do? It was the only way to purify, to consume the putrid flesh and free the soul so it may pass through body of pure goodness and rise to be welcomed by the gentle hands of God. Alas, the world was ignorant in matters of kindness and judgment. It didn’t see the goodness of his actions, condemned the means without realizing the ultimate goal was of true gold. Shackled and beaten, Mr. Aldro didn’t fight this new menace but simply bowed his head to a power greater than himself. Be it as evil as he saw it, there was no fiery sword in his hands to cut down the foe nor an angel to aid him in his cause.
Yet, if he followed the contract, there would be souls to safe, eighteen souls really. For this was it, the favor, as Mr. Drake so casually spoke of. Eighteen marred souls would pass their hands for a right to build factories and sell bar-coded cold-hearted weapons on Turkey’s territory. Mr. Rufus Aldro bowed his head and the green eyes, dulled by age, ceased to reflect the fury within. My God, what was he doing? How could he trust a monster like Damien Drake to decide the holiness of spirit? And yet, when he received a call about a woman who was a mistress of a married man with a child, he counted number seventeen and numbed his aching heart, for soon he would be free of the Devil completely. And until then, there were arrangements to be made about a woman, Lisa Sherman.

@настроение: Mr. Bob


Heh, I can't believe some peopel actually read the crap that I put up here. Perhaps it's the uber sexy photo of Manson, but who knows, my sparkling personality could be a contender as well. Who knows, but it's definitely strange. Don't know why, but it is.


Fuck Fuck Fuck.

I hate people who I fly with because they are complete asses. Not to mention that some fat ass blocked the whole hallway and was then surprised that people couldn't get through, snapped back at me, a fat loser from my school, who said I'd never get into Duke, was on the same orientation as I am. Garsh, I wish he'd like trip or something.

Hate that GUY!

But other than that, my trip to North Carolina was absolutely fabulous. I loves my ocean, with or without the sun. I burned so, but it's no surprise. I burn everywhere.

@настроение: Such a beautiful dream...


“Hm, you’re right. I’ve been stating the obvious the whole day today. Must be something in the air,” spoke Lavington with a like jocose bitter-sweetness to his voice. He couldn’t explain to anyone how relieved he was of getting through the dinner. Yes, his foreboding feelings of disaster weren’t baseless, but for the most part, it was a success. After all, this was only a practice for a more important dinner to get Lavington’s clan’s approval. Not that John would heed opinion of his relatives, but it would be nice for once to not be a topic of a whispered conversation.

Surprise flashed through the man’s face as he felt Sullivan’s weight against his shoulder. It was a change, since only minutes ago, the young man jerked away from his touch. John stole a glance of the younger male, but didn’t move. The fear of shattering the moment was too strong. Instead, John nodded. It was surprisingly nice, considering they were in the city, a really big city. “Maybe you should keep some medication over at my house. I mean, if you still want to stay over every once in a while.”

@настроение: Red, White, and Bloo


Yeah, so I don't know how many people know this, but today is 4th of July. It's a big sha-bang for Americans because on this day they became independent. Also, on this day is the official beginning of the French Revolution, but who cares about France? So, pretty much, no one is working, everyone is barbecuing and drinking beer. Except for me, because in this country I'm under the drinking age, so I have to wait a while before my lips are legally permitted to press against a beer bottle.

God bless America! It's everywhere. And just look at all the flags. Some of them are like mile long. I wonder how come other countries have patriotism, but their patriotism is so dumb? No seriously, instead of making things better for the country, other's patriotism stops right about their porch. What the fuck? You know, change doesn't come on its own. It doesn't knock on the door and asks, "May I came in, kind ser? It's so cold outside." No, that's not how this universe works. Democracy wasn't built in a day, true, but for Christ's sake, don't you have enough already? It's time to stop stealing and time to give back. Mother fuckers. Hate Ukrainian politicians. They should rot in hell.


@настроение: Happy Birthday, USA.


Seeing as Lavington’s services were no longer needed, the man made his way to the door and exited the room. It smelled too much like a hospital and John, after the incident with his father, was not a fan of such establishments. They gave him shivers. Instead, John went downstairs to help his mother to clear the table.

At present, the woman sat at the table, her head bowed in deep thought. But when she heard someone coming down, her eyes shot upward to the entrance to see her son come in with an air of deep thought engulfing him whole. He gave a smile, coming over to Mar Lavington. “Well,” said John and fell into silence. “Take those dishes,” his mother replied. She stood up, swaggering a bit, but catching herself in time.
John went on like Mrs. Lavington told him. He piled the dishes one on top of the other under the sharp gaze. “John, I know there’s something you’re not telling me,” she finally addressed the man, shattering silence with open bluntness. “What is it?” She was in no way aggressive in her inquiry, quite the opposite. There was a gentle note in her voice, pleading even, as her whole person appealed to John’s sense of right.

“I can’t tell you everything right now, but there’s nothing for you to worry about,” began Lavington. He picked up the pile of dishes and carried it over to the counter, loading the dishwasher. “Sullivan is just a very complicated person and… he didn’t have an easy life. I don’t expect you to understand that, Mutti, but accept it as it is.” Mrs. Lavington blinked. What was he talking about? It made no sense. She needed a reason for such an outburst. She simply needed it, but John evaded her, making the woman ever more uneasy. Who was this Sullivan Marion

@настроение: Therefore machines can think.

Spank it like a Preacher